I know I have said it before, and I knew I would do it with this blog. I do all of the setups, then I get bored and forget about it.
Perhaps I should backdate all of my life and make you think it happened real-time. š Or, I should just start fresh. Oh boy, what to do.. what to do.
Either way, I am back. I’m going to try and keep up with this and do daily posts.
As the month draws to a close, Iāll take a little time to reflect. Iāll just admit defeat, Iāll try not to make this into a pity party for myself. Every week I seem to tell myself I need to change a few things. Simple things. Really simple things.
Simple things, that I just tell myself ānext weekā, I pretend to make a plan, go through the week and do it all over again. My list is simple:
I make lists, or, I start to make the list. I guess in my head the ritual of making the list is enough.
Is it normal to make so many excuses to not eat healthy? I need to finish eating the groceries I just bought. Among others.
I think Iām serious this time. š Iām going to do this. Just after I finish the food I just bought. Iām going to purchase a 5-day meal plan and stick to it.
If I just surround myself with food options that are on the meal plan, it will just be simple. Right?
I always do this. I get the blog setup, then I run away.
This blog setup seems to be broken somehow. Thatās what I get for using a One-Click install. The themes arenāt rendering, and each theme just appears white.
Is white the new black? I thought orange was the new black?
Since my last post, the only new drama I have was with my boss. Who would have thought that I donāt get along with my boss.
Iāve always attempted to give respect for the man, for the position, because itās what I should do. Employees should respect their bosses, normally.
But what happens when you ask your boss for direction and instead of your boss giving you direction, itās just redirection. Who do you turn to when your boss isnāt capable of being a boss?
Iāve just started to be more obvious about the fact he has lost all of my respect. Iāll sit at my desk and wait for upper management to replace him and get us a real boss.
I still feel like I’m just rolling through work on zombie mode. I really can’t think of one thing I’ve done this week other than over-sleep and go to work. I did get Starbucks today, I wonder if that counts as doing something different?
I had a poor night of sleep. In return, I’ve been dragging through the entire day. Not only that, I took a nap right after I woke up. I know I said I would stop. I wonder if it’s the sun, or, my lack of sun exposure.
I have a fancy light therapy lamp to help prevent being SAD getting seasonal affective disorder. I need to dig it out of the closet and actually use it. I tend to do that often, buy things and then file them away. It’s almost like the almonds I buy. I picked some up at the store, I haven’t eaten any of them, but, I’ve already ordered more.
I wonder if that means something. Hm.
Why does growing up just mean we’re only left with boring thing to do? We work all week just trying to make it until Friday. Saturday comes and goes in the flash of an eye. Then it’s Sunday morning and you finally feel rested; but, you’re left with chores and other boring adult things.
I feel like I’ve stopped living life, and, I’m just going through the motions. I blur through the week and sleep through the weekend. Is this normal? Is this all we’re left with?
I have three to four days before some new medication arrives. After that my life transformation will begin.
I know it isn’t January 1st, and it is not time for a New Year’s Resolution; but, I’m making a New Life Resolution. I have to make drastic changes, not only figuring out how to add social items into my day-to-day life, but also starting to live life for me.
Let’s just get organized. I need to:
I am going to set a reminder and attempt to do this before bed each day. I might allow myself to skip, but, I am going to try and just open up and write.
I have set a reminder and post every Sunday with a progress update. This will start December 22nd, 2019.
I will start with the baseline 0 and each week track a week loss or gain and a total loss or gain difference.
I’m going to call it a day. It’s been a fairly productive weekend. I accomplished a lot of things from my personal To-Do. I’m actually going to bed on a positive note. Today has been an amazing day. I was full of energy and I didn’t take any naps.
I haven’t really explained, but, the naps are out of control. There are days when I take two or three. Some of them I just do for no good reason. Some mornings I will get out of bed, get onto the couch, start watching TV and just nap to pass the time until work.
The last three months, I’ve done nothing but sleep.
It’s time to wake up. I’ve said it many times over the last three months, but, today I was awake.
What a strange couple of weeks. It all began when I kept cruising AirBNB for places to stay during some upcoming time away from work. I’ve always had this on-again off-again friend from Southern Illinois. We met each other when I was 20 and he was 18.
He and I have kept in touch, on-again off-again ever since. He has always had this ability to find a guy who wanted to control every aspect of his emotions and which friendships were allowed and end those he didn’t approve of.
He and I haven’t spoken in about 5 years or so. Hell, it may be longer than 5 years. He came to visit me, stayed a weekend, and disappeared. Turns out he started dating (I believe his ex) who was jealous of our friendship. I guess he thought we were just constantly having sex.
A couple of weeks ago I started to plan a weekend getaway, and I found an AirBNB in a town I’ve always thought he had moved to. One of the houses I started to look at was hosted by someone with the same name.
Between his relationships, we had already managed to reconnect and chat. This time is no different. Apparently after his relationship he sends me a text to reconnect. I’m not sure if it’s ironic this happened around the same time I thought about him.
It feels good to reconnect. I’m glad he’s doing good.
Welcome to my new blog… again. This is the 90th domain I’ve purchased to start a blog. Let’s see how long this one lasts. I’m a fan of the name, because, I am Unsettled. I’ve tried to collect a few neat new domains.
I think I’ve decided the .wtf domain should be the primary, because, what the fuck.
Please brace yourself to be disappointed, bored, and annoyed with the endless blabbing that I plan on doing here.
I typically keep a simple journal. I have been formatting my journal in a fairly unique way. I start with two lists:
1) Three things I accomplished today.
2) Three things I am thankful for.
Then I’ll write a reflective journal about today. My goal is to write for about twenty minutes a day, so the paragraphs are simple and not really expected to be about quantity.
The last section I write about is a retrospective about my feelings from yesterday. I try to review my entry and validate or discredit the feelings. It’s always easy to write things in the heat of the moment, but you should realize and accept they may not have been the most productive thoughts.
I am excited that we are going to take this, now public, journey together.