Tag: irl

Speed Dating or Gay Dating

I had a very interesting encounter recently. It is nothing abnormal for a gay person, but for me, it feels like dating at hyper speed. It’s the same old story: Two gays swipe on Tinder and you see the magic animation that you’ve matched. At one time, I found comfort in that animation. It was telling me that there is someone out there with similar interests. There is someone out there who relates to my interests. There is someone out there who I want to know better and who (presumably) wants to get to know me better.

This should be a joyous event. In my eyes, this has always been an opportunity to take pause, slow the fast pace of swiping left or right down, and begin to relate to another human.

But after my last two adventures, I can honestly say that is not how the rest of the gay world views it (n = 2). Match on a Sunday, after a few brief chatting stents a sudden urge (on their part) to meet on Monday or Tuesday. While I do understand that I am extremely fascinating, I could not understand the urgency to meet so quickly. (I have been reflecting on this, in the past, I also had an urgency to meet, but that was in contrast to texting for three months without ever broaching the topic.)

With no real reason not to meet up, I did.
Matched on a Sunday and met on Tuesday.

Conversations were fairly traditional until I was being called “babe,” “baby,” or “hon.” It all began at dinner when a server came to check to ensure we were still alive doing alright. At first, I thought it was some type of a ploy to make me feel awkward due to the playful nature of the banter up until that point. But this continued.

After this dinner, we walked around the park, where he eventually talked about how he was glad that we are dating. I was so taken back by this comment, that I stopped walking and asked him what he was meaning. “We’re not dating,” I said, “we’ve met for the first time over dinner.”

So which is it?

Is it speed dating or is this the new gay dating norm?